Just To Let You Know...

I just wanted to let everyone know that I'm still alive. I mean, all four of the people who look at my blog every month or so, anyways. I haven't died. I just haven't been writing much.

ttyl

Brii333

Yellow Racecar

Fit to the palm of my hand,
Scarred a dingy gray around the edges.

This car has been driven
___off a table
___through a sandbox
___over bathtub slime
So many times...

He looks tired.

Like me.

Is he still eager to plunge
___off that table
One more time?

Maybe
He can drive over that edge
So I won't.

Starcrossed (Headline Poem)

If you're introducing Dahlia, a new monster could break free.

Lust.
Craving.
Passion.
Fire.
Ecstacy.
Rapture.

Comes, she comes for you, exposing who's the fairest of them all.

Good night, my lady, my love, my muse.

Angels of sorts dream seeing clearly.

Our story will not end with golden gates.

Untitled Headline Poem

Go to the cemetary at sunset.

Play alone in a
different world on
life's boundary lines,
an earthborn guest of
vampires who aren't
afraid to express themselves.
Make believe they'll
help you find another rhyme
to cure buried anger.

Pretty persuasion in the air will
paint a picture of earth and space,
and we can be taken somewhere
we can believe in miracles.

You assume there's nothing left to save us.

Augsburg, Villanelle, Villanelle Directions

Just because I'm so absolutely excited, I'm going to retype my Villanelle that I'm going to read on Wednesday. Well, also because it might help me memorize it better so I won't have to look at it as much. ANNND I'm going to teach you who don't know how to write one how to write a Villanelle!!! yay!!! Isn't this exciting? Woohoo!!!!!

In What Is Always Right (A Villanelle)

In what is always right,
Singing sharp and lovely bright, glittering
Beauty in a silent night.

Thin fingers reach for pretty lights
of loving crimson, vividly dripping
In what is always right.

Compulsion takes it's hold, a plight
In bloody whispers shaking, trembling,
Hated beauty in a silent night.

Dodging nightmares in blackest night,
Stay here with me, so I'll stay clinging
To what is always right.

Please keep my stronghold to the light,
Hide shiv'ring wrists so life stays seeming
Beauty in a silent night,
In what is always right.


How to Write a Villanelle (In Brii Language Using Her Poem "My Key" as an Example)

Alright, so the basic structure of a Villanelle is five stanzas, four of three lines each and one of four lines, using two repeating lines that rhyme with one another. The first thing you'll want to do is choose your repeating lines, which we'll call A1 and A2.

Repeating lines in "My Key:"
A1--If only I could find the key
A2--Maybe then my heart could see

Once you have your repeating lines chosen, you can write your first stanza. The first stanza will begin with A1 and end with A2, with a non-rhyming line B1 in the middle.

A1--If only I could find the key,
B1--The one I think I left behind,
A2--Maybe then my heart could see.

The next stanza will begin with a new line A3, rhyming with A1 and A2, followed by a line B2 rhyming with B1, and ending with line A1.

A3--A nagging thought won't let me be
B2--A thought that clings inside my mind
A1--If only I could find the key.

Your third stanza will have a similar pattern; A4-B3-A2.

A4--Unfamiliar Feelings Consume me, wrap me
B3--In joyous bewilderment. If I could only understand,
A2--Maybe then my heart could see.

Following pattern, your fourth stanza will look like this:

A5--These fears I felt are gone, it seems,
B4--And I'm glad I chose to take your hand.
A1--If only I could find the key...

Finally, your last stanza will have four lines, with the pattern A6-B5-A2-A1. In my example, I altered the beginning of line A1. This is an option that you have; however, it is difficult to do this without changing the lines too much, which will mean your poem is not a true villanelle, so i wouldn't recommend doing this if you aren't confident in your writing to know that it will still be in true villanelle form.

A6--Stay with me a while, please,
B5--and next to you I think I'll stand,
A2--So maybe then my heart could see...
A1--If only I could find the key.

So, your full villanelle will look something like this:

My Key (A Villanelle)

If I could only find the key,
The one I think I left behind,
Maybe then my heart could see.

A nagging thought won't let me be,
A thought that clings inside my mind.
If only I could find the key.

Unfamiliar thoughts consume me, wrap me
In joyous bewilderment. If only I could understand,
Maybe then my heart could see.

These fears I felt are gone, it seems,
and I'm glad I chose to take your hand.
If only I could find the key...

Stay with me a while, please,
and next to you I think I'll stand,
So maybe then my heart could see...
If only I could find the key.

Congratulations! You now know how to write a poem in villanelle form! Hooray!!!! Feel special.

I hope you enjoyed this little tutoring session! Lemme know if you think I should do more of them, I kind of enjoyed that.

Love,
Brii333

I'M GOING TO BE PUBLISHED!!!!!!!!

HOLY CRAP!!!!!!!!

I've been submitting work to various magazines and other things for a couple of months now, which I've never really done before. I've heard from two of them, and I got into both!

So, I, Brianna Fynboh, will be reading my poem ("In What Is Always Right (a Villanelle)")at Augsburg college next wednesday. Also, my acrostic ("Plucking Flower Petals; Acrostic: Anticipation) will be published in The Talking Stick magazine, or at least my teacher said it was going to be and she's smart so I'm thinking she knows.

I'm very excited!!!!!

So yeah, I have to go to class, so I'll talk to YOU later!

xoxo,
Brii

Sonnet

A glowing red across my face
Sharp numbers on the clock
Tell me time still follows pace,
Though life seems to have stopped.
I fear one day I'll look behind
At twisted descending days
To see the one good thing I find
Has slipped out of my way.
Search for just one reason to run,
To grasp just one sweet breath,
To chase, to maybe catch the sun,
To catch up to my death.
I wish that I could show you, that maybe you could see
The true extent of panic which grows inside of me.

Acrostic; Naked

Never felt so beautiful,
Alive and here for once in my life.
Keep me close so I can feel you breathe
Every time you whisper in my ear.
Don't let me disappear again.

Sestina

My faintly worn path is careless,
a bewildering road
thrown intoa mess
of others, tangling over
a map backed in shaded gray fear.
do you understand, my friend?

It feels asd though i'm splitting, friend,
And I'm lured by a want to be careless.
I know this obsession is what you fear.
My life is a dividing road
With two conduits for you and I to fight over.
We both know I'llthrow away balance in favor of mess.

The idea of choosing mess
Consumes me, and this inner chaos is a fancied friend.
I long for the unhealthy race-too-soon-over,
and I cannot forget my lovely-colored careless.
I've never wished for a road
Of "perfect" safety, and i'm sorry for your fear.

and though i know you only fear
For my well-being and snarled mind of mess,
I'll still depart from the road
You ask me to construct, as a true friend.
I'll feed this endless taste for life (with a side of careless)
Despite the realization that his headlong adrenaline rush will quickly be over.

I told you my healthless run was over,
A tiny-big-black-white lie to calm the fear.
I'm thinking this was insanely careless.
You know me well enough not to see the mess.
You love me more then I deserve, friend,
From my selfish soul to the poorly maintained road.

Soon, my restless self will take to the road.
I've got time to kill, burned bridges to cross over,
and I'm yet stuill hopefull that you're the friend
I keep. Losing you is a dark possibility I fear.
Without you, life would be more so a mess.
I can only apoligize, love, for my excess so careless.

The short and winding road I walk, without fear,
Though the walk shall soon be over, an end to my mess.
I wish I had not treated the friend, only friend, with such careless.

In What is Always Right (A Villanelle)

In what is always right,
Singing sharp and lovely bright, glittering
Beauty in a silent night.

Thin fingers reach for pretty lights
of loving crimson, vividly dripping
In what is always right.

Compulsion takes its hold, a plight
In bloody whispers, shaking, trembling,
Hated beauty in a silent night.

Dodging nightmares in blackest night,
Stay here with me, so I'll stay clinging
To what is always right.

Please keep my stronghold to the light,
Hide shiv'ring wrists so life stays seeming
Beauty in a silent night,
In what is always right.

Ekphrasis--Fiery Dance

Flaming bodies,
Pulling close,
Reaching for one another in
Passionate fervor,
So enveloped in our own
Desperate heat to see
The quiet one, all
Enclosed in delicate and periwinkle,
Unable to take that extra step
In living supposedly unrestrained
As we do.

Assigned Haiku

Meditation
Scented candles burn,
A sweet meditation in
Perfect loneliness.


Alone?
A pained silence brings
Unwanted self-secrets and
A longing well feared.

Confusion in Betrayal

Rain Echoes the words I told You
(I was a monster)
, Telling the earth of my non-Worth
with Inches of prejudice.
friends Are Toy Soldiers and Paper Skulls,
fiction to suppress the Urge to shout
opinion, to scream The Opposite of Actuate.
I was about to turn away...

self-Actualization

trapped,
removed from Society,
feeling ruined and suppressed.
i struggle to convince You of my
Independance, because i know
You want me to live without
Mistakes, though You know
my Mistakes are
almost needed.
how can i Learn,
or Grow,
or Overcome when You're smothering me?

just let Me go.

Untitled

The translucent flavor of my sunny smile
Is a prisoner behind my delirious mind.
Bitter pictures devour you after
Vast, elaborate shadows absorb the screams.

Let's forget when I died, and
Perhaps we will discover music and nighttime,
Foolishly flowering webs, and the
Reason we became so weak.

My faint, Technicolor heart is made of glass,
And yours is black and made of stone.
If only you knew that these
Champaign-induced dreams can melt marble.

Why did I come here in the first place?

I'm Trying to Spell It Out For You...
A saved message,
Bringing back memories of
Calamity in heartache.
Details in the fabric of your tired
Entity call for taking responsibility. I'll
Face the deeply throbbing twinge and
Generate my own survival if you
Have faith
In the things that make you panic
Just long enough to
Keep the
Longing at bay.
My heart can swell to encompass you in
No time at all.
Open your thoughts to me, and I can
Protect you from the
Quelling whispers of a society that likes to
Repress your individual goodness, the
Special part that
Tells me you are beautiful.
Under the facade,
Value is hidden by the firm belief that you lack
Worth. A
Xenophobic mask isn't as attractive on you as
You think. Can you look past my
Zealous, overexcited behavior to my own secret insecurity?
We could teach each other to love ourselves.

Coffee and a Bad Latte

A little problem with solutions
and some wordplay revealed that
i was pretty much in control,
except for the
Hunger the Wall around my heart released.
Am i totally crazy?
i shouldn't have been there in the first place.
People like me don't deserve the
bliss and mystery people like You bring.
addicted to misdeeds and pride,
can a seventeen-year-old Indie misfit
forget to remember peices of a former life
interested in silent medication
to make a heart feel alive?
Afraid to fall and
climbing free-verse ladders,
deep down i knew
you were gone.
Hated love takes its toll as i fall,
kicking and screawming.
i didn't understand,
Never really thought about
what Want could do
until now.
Hear me with your eyes when
my New Self dives wildly into the night.
Love has left me prisoner behind
Ink Words running.

A Couple of Super Short Poems

Alice; Acrostic
Alice learns to
Listen close, when she's only
Inches tall.
Climb the table, reach the pill, and
Everything will be all right.

Earth's Children
a Mother will care for a Child
until He is fully grown,
but when He is greedy,
excessively needy,
the Mother is known to disown.

Keep Trying to Tame Me. See What Happens.

Why do you continue to insist
I try your pretty paint box?
You should've known long before this
That I love to load the dice
In your twisted game of status quo.
I won't feel dirty
When your institutional glow
Curses individuality.
In your conviction,
My freedom is your enemy.
I sang rebellion from very conception.
Isn't Minority lovely?

HEY!!!

Okay, people. You know I love you when you tell me I'm awesome. But I'm past the stage in my writing where people just tell me everything's good for fear that they'll hurt my feelings. I know I can write decent--now I would like someone to tell me what I can do to make it better. That's the main reason I post my work. Not for an ego boost, but for some, you know, constructive criticism. Please?

Thank You, ♥♥♥,

Brii333

Letter to Myself

Splish, splash, splish, splash.

Rain falls, like a soft cleanser, to wash away what's left of acid tears.

The hot, angry, salty lava drips from my eyes, leaving it's mark on the frozen skin of my cheeks. My dress, once clean and white, is stained with grass and mud, black from the fear of my indecision. The soft, cold, wet fabric clings to my form, revealing every imperfection I've ever tried to hide.

Was it the scars that made you leave? The fading, white-purple slashes on my body, lingering reminders of my addiction, an ominous warning of my insecurity?

If I build up the scar tissue, will I forget you existed? Can I hide you away in the fortress of my mind, where your image will slowly fade and your view of the world, bright and delightful, will blacken and crumble to dust?

Memories of you haunt me like a ghost, a child that's forgotten and crying. It hurts me more to see what you've become--bitter, angry, and hateful.

I miss you.



NOTE
This was actually written sometime over a year ago, but I ran across it and thought it should go in here, so I hope you enjoy this little peice of ancient history. xoxo, Brii333

Acrostics

Acrostic::Chaos
~~~
Chords of life have tangled, twisted,
Hate contorting lovely golden strands.
Anger is useless--release the
Oppressive restriction of modern Life.
Supressing the nature to care destroys us.

---

Get Me Out of Here; Acrostic::Despair
~~~
Desperate, despondant,
Ever seeking,
Searching for the
Poorly constructed Wall that hides the
Acute, terrifying inability to hold
Imminant tears, welling up in my
Resistant, war-torn eyes.

---

Plucking Flower Petals; Acrostic::Anticipation
~~~
A lovely, warm,
Nervous feeling in the
Tips of my fingers and toes,
Isolating the most
Curiously vulnerable parts
In my typically independant, not-so-
Patient nature. It isn't just
Another wishful dream.
This time, you're real, and
I'm real, and
Only the clinging insecurity threatens the
Nerves I once had so carefully wrapped in iron...

---

My Mother Calls Me Crazy; Acrostic::Mosh Pit
~~~
Many bodies, mingling
Overlapping,
Swimming together with their own
Heavy, thrashing strokes. The delicious
Pain and smell of sweat lingers
In the air after
The final riff echoes.

Untitled

exhaustion,
that continuous theme,
struggles with my jittery mind.
being tired doesn't seem
to be enough to
sleep.
oh! sleep,
a fiendish temptress,
coyly playing on the
fringes of my
shattered brain, then
slipping away,
leaving the
fried pathways
to tremble
with
unrequited
longing.

Split (From the Point of View of a Paranoid Schizophrenic)

This was written for a Psychology assignment on paranoid schizophrenia. for the educational essay that goes with the story, visit my other blog: http://extremely-opinionated.blogspot.com/

~

"Miss?"

The voice, crackling and cruel, breaks through the sleepy haze which lies over me.

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but you'll have to move. We can't have people staying here. You have to move off of the street."

I open my eyes to look the presumptuous officer in the face. He's with Them, The Friend whispers in my ear. He's with Them, look at his eyes, it's the same, and you need to get away... Fear, that same terror, seeps through me. They've found me again, They have, I have to find a place to get away... The officer glares at me, his twisted face and flaming eyes, the same that They all have, burning me, burning into my eyes, burning my face...

I leap to my feet, my long coat flapping in the cold air. "No!" I shriek. I can't go with Them, They'll use me again, and They'll hurt me! "I can't go with you, you won't take me back!" And I run. Running, running again, get away, get away!

Keep running, you have to get away from them, remember what They did to your parents! They'll turn you. You can't let them use you. The Friend keeps me going, The Friend always keeps me going.

I run until I reach an empty alleyway, dirty and infested, but free of the ones that are after me. Breathing heavily, I crawl into a space between two dumpsters, and I'm glad that They broke my nose when They caught me the last time, because the painful swelling is protecting me from what must be an awful stench. Now next time, don't be so stupid as to stay out in the open, you hear me? "Yes, yes, I hear you. I promise, I won't let them get us." You had better promise, because I won't warn you next time and then you know what will happen? They'll change you. They'll change you like they did your parents. Then you'll have to go back and I won't be able to protect you. "I know," I whisper back to him. "It won't happen again... I was stupid. It won't happen again, only don't let Them catch me..." I won't, The Friend promises me. The Friend can be mean, but he always promises. He protects me the way Mom and Dad couldn't, because they were weak, like me, but The Friend is strong and he cares about me and wants me to be away from Them.

But I'm still afraid, because I can still hear Them, hissing voices on the edges. Plots, plots of betrayal, of hate and pain, the things They are doing out there, building Their army, because they put that Thing inside, They need the Army to get it back... and The Friend cannot protct me if They find me, and I know that. He can only help me get away for now. They will get me eventually, and then all will be lost.

"I don't know what to do," I whisper. "I need your help, I need you. I'm not strong or smart or brave enough to keep Them from getting it." I know you aren't, that's why I'm here, dumbass. His voice is exaspered, and I'm sorry for upsetting him, but I don't need to say it, because he already knows. We need to find out what they put inside of you. I've told you, that if you listen to the others, you'll find the answer. You need to concentrate. "I'm frightened..." I know you are. But you need to stop whimpering so we can get rid of the Thing. That's the only way it will go away.

I do not answer, but simply sit. If I only wait, just sit and wait, maybe I will find it myself and I won't have to listen... I know The Friend is disappointed, but he leaves me to think anyway. He hopes that if he lets me be, I will realize that he is right...

~

I do not know how long it has been. I can feel the hunger crawling in my belly, because I haven't eaten in a too-long time, but I know I cannot leave. So I remain, curled among crumpled wrappers and rotting food, with the occasional rat scurrying over my feet. I do not mind the rats--They do not like the rats, and so They stay away, most of the time.

Footsteps... I can hear the footsteps outside my haven, and the loud voices that tell me someone is there. They found you again, I told you, you needed to listen, now They've got you! A rush of panic comes over me, and I can feel the adrenaline rushing through my veins. A scream of defiance tears from my thoat before I can think to stay quiet, and I scramble up, running at Them with hands outstretched.

And then They surprise me.

They run. Relief fills me, until I see why.

The Army, the Army that They have been building, it's behind them, behind them, pretending They can't see me but I cknow that They can. They are trying to confuse me, and The Friend tells me to run, but I'm surrounded, on each end of the now empty alley...

But I run anyway. Sneaking, sneaking along the walls of the grubby brick buildings. The Friend tells me things the entire time, whispering things to me to keep me from losing my hold on the reality I know I cannot lose...

Because now I see, I see only too clearly that the Thing is helping them find me, and now I know I have to listen. I'm at the bridge now, the bridge that goes over the river. There's no other choice. I knew you'd see sense, The Friend says. His voice seems cruel to me, now, not the helper he once was. I know that I'm being ridiculous--He is still The Friend, and he still is trying to help me, but I'm frightened of the Others, the Ones that he tells me to listen to.

I take a deep breath, and let go.

The rush of voices, voices that make no sense, mocking echoes of The Friend, murmuring terrible secrets in a language I do not understand, I don't understand...

And then They start to come together, echoing all in one, whispering, taunting, encouraging, and though I do not know what Their words are, the horrifying inflections of the way the strange language pulls up in unexpected places paints grotesque pictures inside of my mind, of the Thing inside me, and The Friend's voice is the loudest, not as mixed with the Others...

No! No, no, I can't take it!!! I can't take it, the pictures that are building in my head. I am trying to shut them out, to turn it off, but it's too late for that, too late, too late to save myself and the Thing they put inside of me, and I cannot get to it though I claw at my chest, at the place above my heart, the flesh ripping under my dirty fingers and the blood dripping down my clothing...

There is nothing left for it...

I hear the screams behind me, the furious Army, angry at their failure, as I run for the edge...



Silence.

Forest

A company of solemn monks,
Calm and stoic in an infinate wisdom,
A vow of silence echoing through
The flat, eternal moment.

Inconvenient Truth

I think I have to go.
Um.
Yeah.
Pretty sure I need to go.
Well...
I can wait until the end of class...
Wait five minutes...
...
...
No, pretty sure I can't wait.
Teacher?
...
No?
...
Whaddaya mean no?!?!?!?!
I have to go.
NOW!
...
Hear me?
Now!
...
That's what I thought.
...
Gotta go...
Gotta go...
Run...
Run...
Runrunrunrunrun!!!
...
...
...
phew!
...
Pretty sure that
I just released the
Contents of
Lake Superior
From my bladder.

Taking Chances

Tonight is different.

Tonight is a final chance at honest,
an opportunity to rise to my own expectations.
Tonight, the lonely whisper will lift itself above
the protestations and restraints which aim to smother.
Tonight is the set stage, the lasting impression.
the lines are prepared, the stage fright is stifled.
and Tonight,
Tonight is the bullet shot at random,
taking a guess at where the traget may be.

Tonight, everything will change.

The Getaway

The Getaway waits for me,
Her silver paint glinting dully in the
Faint gray light.
Her engine growls to life at my trembling touch.

Her tires squeal
like the taunting voice of my peers.
A screeching, wordless speech and
Burning rubber eggs me on,
Pushing my right foot down
As I race towards escape.